How I learned what not to do.

My first newbie experience. This happened about a year ago, with in a week or two of moving in.

So I knew the toilet float valved needed to replaced. It sprayed out water from the top and was covered by a plastic cup to keep the water from hitting the lid, but it worked. It is the original 1938 low toilet, but the innards had been replaced at some point. After a week or two it started running when I was going to bed, on a week night.

Little Miss Engineer Type felt jiggling with the internal valve would be the solution to the problem. I quickly learned the first rule about old houses: Do not touch a damn thing unless you are prepared to replace it. The ancient plastic broke off from the top of the part and sprayed cold water all over me and the bathroom. And it stopped working, prefering to gush water at me instead.

Of course the original toilet stop valve didn't work completely, there was some bleed by. Which made replacing the float valve fun when you'd never done the job before. I prevailed after a number of attempts.

Next bathroom plumbing project, about a week later, was a new faucet. We had a hot tap, and a cold tap. Freezing or burning, no in between. The boy (who was stationed in Arizona at the time, I was living there by myself) had mentioned he did not like the situation, so I thought it would be great little surprise if he just came home to a new, single tap faucet.

I learned the second rule of old houses: Never start a plumbing job on a Sunday. I figured it would be a quick day job, hour or two at most. First thing I discovered: the cold water stop valve did not work at all. Figured all right, I'll replace it and the toilet stop valve in one quick swoop.

Have I mentioned this is a one bathroom home?

So I shut the water off at the curb (no house stop valve inside) dealing with all the nasties that live in curb vaults (three black widows at least). I proceed to remove the valves. Toilet valve goes in fine, no problems. Cold water stop valve goes in fine, not problems.

After about a minute, the cold water stop valve starts to drip water. But (*dramatic pause*) not from my nicely taped fitting.

*From inside the wall* Simply touching the pipe and valve had caused the pipe to leak inside in the wall. And there twernt much this novice could do about it, with the few tools at her disposal.

By that point it was 8 pm on Sunday night and I had no water in the house. So I called the plumber and he came over and cut the pipe off from below, as I did not want to disturb the plaster if I could avoid it. All the plumbing (and wiring) is exposed in the garage level of the house, which is framed in only. The plumber was rather amused by a 26 year old girl's attempts at plumbing.

To wrap things up, I was without a bathroom sink for three weeks. And ended up breaking into the plaster anyway, though I'd figured out a way to run the new pipe with only a hole the size of vice grips.

For those geeks who may be interested - hold the elbow with a pair of vice grips inside the wall. Have someone maneuver pipe to engage with threads. Spin pipe from below while holding the elbow with the vice grips. From below, engage the pipe on main line tee, letting the elbow above spin freely inside the wall. Line up elbow with wall, engage nipple with stop valve attached. No big hole in wall. Except that didn't quite work because of the root cause to my little problem.

The two stop valves, hot and cold, are perfectly spaced on either side of the drain, at 6 inches away. The holes in the floor heading up into the wall, visible from the garage, are perfectly in line with this. The cold water tee from the main line wasn't, it was offset by about an inch, just the right amount that can't be jury rigged with multiple fittings to line up. When the house was built, the pipe was simply forced into place to give it that nice, even appearance. It had been under strain for 70 years - of course it broke when I touched it.

The solution? Move the stop valve and floor hole over 1 inch to line up with the tee. And never force pieces of pipe to line up. Someone *will* regret it later.

And the boy ended up having to help me replace the plumbing I'd broken in trying to install him a faucet.